Fifty Fruits of Pride (part 1)

1. I tend to be self sufficient in the way I live my life. I don't live with a constant awareness that my every breath is dependent upon the will of God. I tend to think I have enough strength, ability and wisdom to live and manage my life. My practice of the spiritual disciplines is inconsistent and superficial. I don't like to ask others for help.

2. I am often anxious about my life and the future. I tend not to trust God and rarely experience his abiding and transcendent peace in my soul. I have a hard time sleeping at night because of fearful thoughts and burdens I carry.

3. I am overly self-conscious. I tend to replay in my mind how I did, what I said, how I came across to others, etc. I am very concerned about what people think of me. I think about these things constantly.

4. I fear man more than God. I am afraid of others and make decisions about what I will say or do based upon this fear. I am afraid to take a stand for things that are right. I am concerned with how people will react to me or perceive my actions or words. I don't often think about God's opinion in a matter and rarely think there could be consequences for disobeying him. I primarily seek the approval of man and not of God.

5. I often feel insecure. I don't want to try new things or step out into uncomfortable situations because I'm afraid I'll fail or look foolish. I am easily embarrassed.

6. I regularly compare myself to others. I am performance oriented. I feel that I have greater worth if I do well.

7. I am self-critical. I tend to be a perfectionist. I can't stand for little things to be wrong because they reflect poorly on me. I have a hard time putting my mistakes behind me.

8. I desire to receive credit and recognition for what I do. I like people to see what I do and let me know that they noticed. I feel hurt or offended when they don't. I am overly concerned about my reputation and hate being misunderstood.

9. I want people to be impressed with me. I like to make my accomplishments known.

10. I tend to be deceptive about myself. I find myself lying to preserve my reputation. I find myself hiding the truth about myself, especially about sins, weaknesses, etc. I don't want people to know who I really am.

11. I am selfishly ambitious. I really want to get ahead. I like having a position or title. I far prefer leading to following.

12. I am overly competitive. I always want to win or come out on top and it bothers me when I don't.

13. I like to be the center of attention and will say or do things to draw attention to myself.

14. I like to talk, especially about myself or persons or things I am involved with. I want people to know what I am doing or thinking. I would rather speak than listen.

15. I am self-serving. When asked to do something, I find myself asking, "How will doing this help me, or will I be inconvenienced?"

16. I am not very excited about seeing or making others successful. I tend to feel envious, jealous or critical towards those who are doing well or being honored.

17. I feel special or superior because of what I have or do. For example: * my house * my neighborhood * my physical gifting * my spiritual giftings * my intellect * being a Christian * my position * my job * my education * my car * my salary * my looks

18. I think highly of myself. In relation to others I typically see myself as more mature and more gifted. In most situations, I have more to offer than others even though I may not say so. I don't consider myself average or ordinary.

19. I tend to give myself credit for who I am and what I accomplish. I only occasionally think about or recognize that all that I am or have comes from God.

20. I tend to be self-righteous. I can think that I really have something to offer God. I would never say so, but I think God did well to save me. I seldom think about or recognize my utter depravity and helplessness apart from God. I fail to realize that any goodness I have comes from God alone.

21. I feel deserving. I think I deserve what I have. In fact, I think I ought to have more considering how well I have lived or in light of all I have done.

22. I often feel ungrateful. I tend to grumble about what I have or my lot in life.

23. I find myself wallowing in self-pity. I am consumed with how I am treated by God and others. I tend to feel mistreated or misunderstood. I seldom recognize or sympathize with what's going on with others around me because I feel that I have it worse than they do.

24. I can be jealous or envious of others abilities, possessions, positions, or accomplishments. I want to be what others are or want to have what others have. I find it hard to rejoice with others when they are blessed by God.

25. I am pretty insensitive to others. I feel that some people just aren't worth caring about.